


Edge Of The Night

by renjuniverse



Category: NCT
Genre: Abuse is mentioned, Angst, Fluff with Angst, Fluffy, Just read to find out, M/M, Mark Lee/Lee Donghyuck|Haechan, Mark is scary, Mentioned Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le - Freeform, but i swear they are the same age, jaemin is in collge, jeno is a school dropout, these tags don't make any sense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-13 09:37:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17485700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renjuniverse/pseuds/renjuniverse
Summary: Lee Jeno, a coffee shop worker who's about to lose his job. Drowning in debt, running away from his past and losing friends isn't the kind of life he dreams of leading but here he is. Too tired and on the verge of giving up.Na Jaemin, a 19 years old freshman in college is just here to enjoy his life while he can. Meeting a cute brunette and falling for him isn't in his list. but the more he looks into those bright eyes, the more he seems to fall for him. but will it be as easy to fall in love with Jeno as it seems? And maybe it's even harder to stay with him.





	1. Chapter 1

A coffee shop was usually a place where people went to relax, ate some dessert, did their homework or just spent some alone time. But for Lee Jeno, it was more than just a shop. It was the place where he worked. The place which helped him take it each day, paid enough to cover up his rents, made sure he didn’t go hungry. For Jeno, this coffee shop named “Wanderer’s Café” was his lifeline. And now, he was about to lose it.

Jeno let out a frustrated sigh. The meeting with the owner of the café, Moon Taeil, had just ended. Taeil wasn’t only the owner of this shop, but also the closest thing Jeno had to a family. And now Taeil was kicking him out.

Well, technically not “kicking” him out. Taeil was closing down the shop. He was a music major in YGE University and rumors said he was one of the best in the history of the university. Jeno didn’t know about all that history stuff but he was definitely good. Good enough to finally get accepted in SM Entertainment in Korea, one of the biggest entertainment agencies out there. And as much as Jeno was happy for Taeil, he also knew what it meant. Taeil leaving meant closing the shop down, which also meant Jeno was going to lose his job. He’d been expecting this meeting to happen for weeks and it finally did. Taeil apologized for it, of course, and maybe Renjun claimed it was no big deal. But it freaking was. At least for Jeno.

“Hey Jeno!” an all too familiar voice called his name and he instantly knew who it was. Speak of the devil. He turned around to face the red haired 22 years old male and forced a smile, “Hey, Taeil.” Taeil looked up to meet his eyes and smiled back, “Are you going home?” “Well, yeah. It’s almost 9 pm and we’re closed for today after all.” “Okay, then let me walk you home.” Taeil offered and as much as Jeno wanted to decline his offer, he couldn’t. Because one, it was already dark out and no matter how much Jeno denied it, he was dead scared of walking home alone. Two, when Taeil looked at you with those puppy eyes of his, you really didn’t have much of a choice but to do whatever he said. So Jeno found himself saying, “Sure, why not?”

So here they were, walking side by side down the roads of Downtown LA. After walking in silence for a while, Taeil spoke up, “I’m sorry.” Jeno looked at him in surprise, “What are you sorry for?” “For everything.” There was a pause before Taeil continued, “I’m sorry that I’m leaving. I’m sorry that I won’t be here to hear you blabber about last night’s soccer game, or take care of you when you’re down with a fever. I’m sorry that I’m leaving you on your own in this godforsaken city. I’m sorry that I’m leaving you, and the others, jobless when I know how much you need the money. I-I’m sorry for everything.” Jeno halted his footsteps before completely turning his body to meet Taeil’s wavering gaze. He stared at the older for a while before he finally opened his mouth, “don’t say sorry, Taeil. There is nothing to be sorry about. You’ve been chasing after your dream of becoming an idol for years. Now you finally have the chance. Go for it. Don’t worry about me, or Renjun, or Yuta, or Jaehyun. We’ll be fine. We can find another job.” He paused before he forced a smile, “I might be a high school dropout but I swear I can charm anyone into giving me a job. I have this angelic face only for that purpose.” He winked at Taeil and Taeil let out a laugh. “Really, Taeil. I’ll be fine. Go chase after your dream, capture it and show the world what you’re capable of. Because god knows that I know what it feels like when your dreams are shattered.” Jeno took one look at Taeil’s face and knew he hit a sensitive spot. Nobody talked about Jeno’s past. They all acted as if it never happened, never existed, including Jeno. And even though Jeno preferred it that way, he knew it was the only way he could finally convince his ‘brother’ to leave. (Because hey, you don’t need to be blood related to be family.) “Are you okay though?” Taeil asked. ‘You’re leaving. How can I be okay?’ but Jeno obviously didn’t say that out loud. “I’ll be fine. When are you leaving?” he asked. “10th of next month.” Came Taeil’s reply. Well, at least Jeno had a whole month to figure out a way. He always did. It’d be fine. At least Jeno hoped so.

When Jeno finally went home, it was nearing 10pm. He wasn’t hungry and not in the mood of cooking either. So he just grabbed a packet of instant ramen to fill his stomach. Even though it tasted like shit, he didn’t care. He had something in his stomach and it was all that mattered. He didn’t remember how a home cooked meal tasted like. Not after all these years.

It was 12am when Jeno decided he had enough of all that tossing and turning. He wasn’t sleepy and the bed was too hard for a human to sleep on. Hell, even the floor was probably more comfortable than his bed. But Jeno couldn’t sleep on the floor. It made him….remember things. So Jeno got up, put on a jacket and a pair of worn out shoes and he was out of his apartment.

After walking aimlessly for a while, he came across the old park of his neighborhood. Nobody came here anymore so he decided it was a perfect place to think about things, about his life, and maybe have a mental breakdown after thinking about his future too much, who knew. So he went in, sat on one of the two swings and looked up at the night sky.

He was going to be jobless in a month. What if he didn’t find another job? Jeno was pretty sure nobody would want a high school dropout. If he didn’t get a job, he couldn’t pay his rents, if he couldn’t pay his rent then he was going to be kicked out of his apartment. Which meant he’d also be homeless. He still had to pay back the $300 he borrowed from Mark. Mark was going to kill him. He wasn’t exactly known for his kindness. Rather the opposite. Well, hopefully if he got kicked out, then he wouldn’t have a place to stay at and Mark would never find him. Duh, who was he kidding? Mark had his connections. If Jeno even tried to escape, he’d find him and make sure he paid for his ‘betrayal’. He always did.

Jeno let out a sigh and looked at the sky. The stars were shining like diamonds in a black ocean. They said people became stars after their death. Jeno wanted to believe it. He was sure his mother was also one of the countless stars scattered around the night sky. 

“Hey mom, how are you doing? Is God treating you well? He better. Mom, I can’t sleep without nightmares haunting me each night. Everybody left me. Everybody hates me. You did, dad did, Taeyong did. Now even Taeil is leaving. Renjun told me things will get better with time. My wounds will heal and I’ll be happy once again. But mom, it’s been so long. Why am I still standing here alone, hurting alone, crying alone? Why is everything getting worse? Why does it hurt so much to breathe? Did I do something really really bad in my past life to be treated like dirt? To be thrown around like a ball until everybody eventually gets tired of me? Is this my life now? Mom, where are you when I need you the most? Come back to me, please.”

Jeno didn’t realize he was crying before a voice beside him said, “Do you want a tissue?” Jeno snapped his neck at the direction of the voice so hard that he might’ve as well broken his neck in the process. Before him stood a boy around his height. Jeno couldn’t see his face properly in the dark but he assumed the boy was around his age. Which meant 19 years old. He shook his head, “No, thanks.” The boy shrugged before sitting on the swing beside Jeno’s. An awkward silence hung heavy on the air. Jeno felt suffocated. He needed to get out of here. He needed to run. But he didn’t know where to go back to. His apartment in the rundown part of the city was as sure as hell not an option.

The stranger broke the silence first, “The stars look beautiful, don’t they?” “Huh? Oh, yeah. They look amazing indeed.” Jeno replied, kind of surprised. “Did you know that some stars are thousands of light years away? So the starlight you’re seeing right now, it’s probably hundreds of years old. Maybe that star doesn’t even exist anymore!” the boy exclaimed. Jeno looked up at the sky in wonder, “yeah. That might be true. But aren’t we also like stars? People don’t spare a glance at you when you’re still here. Maybe you’re trying to tell them a story, sell a painting or submit a song you recorded. Nobody cares. But the moment you die, they suddenly become your biggest fans. Your book is selling millions of copies, you painting is hanging in the Louvre Museum. Like the stars, we keep burning and burning when we’re alive. Mentally, physically. But our voice is lost in the crowd. Just like we can’t see those certain stars while they’re still shining, we can’t see the worth of a human until she or he is gone forever.” Suddenly Jeno felt shy after his little speech, “Ah, I’m sorry. I blabbered about totally unrelated stuff.” “Nah, it’s okay.” The stranger assured him with a smile, ”That was kinda cool.” Jeno blushed a little and then he asked, “What brings you here so late at night?” “I wanted to paint the night sky but you can’t see the sky from my place, so I came here.” “I see…” “How about you?” “Couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts occupying my goddamn brain.” “Don’t curse your brain. It might get angry and decide to shut down. What are you going do when that happens?” at that, Jeno laughed, “I’d be happy to be honest.” “You’re weird.” The boy commented. And then he added, “But a cool kind of weird!” Jeno gave him a look, “are you sure you’re not the weird one? You’re here talking with a complete stranger. What if I kill you and get rid of your body?” “Kidnap me instead. You might get money, who knows. Killing me won’t benefit you in any way. And besides, I’ll finally be out of that hellhole called college for a few days.” “You go to college?” “Yeah. YGE University. I’m a literature major.” The boy stood up, “I guess I gotta go now. See you around I guess?” “Maybe.” Hummed Jeno in response. Mr. Stranger waved at him and started walking towards the exit before stopping, “Hey kidnapper, my name is Na Jaemin by the way. You better know the name of the person you’re kidnapping.” Jeno chuckled, “Lee Jeno is the name.” Jaemin waved at him once again and disappeared into the night. Jeno checked his phone. 1:44 am. He really needed to get home.

That night Jeno dreamed of a boy with big soft chocolate brown eyes and a smile which could rival the sun. And if his heart flattered, he told no one.


	2. Chapter 2

_7 years old Jeno was busy reading Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland for the nth time. The night was quiet with occasional howling of foxes out in the forest. Jeno liked nights like that. He felt at peace. It was also one of the very rare days when he didn’t have to hear his parents fighting, yelling. Hear his mom sobbing. He wished things would always be this peacefu-_

_“HOW DARE YOU GO OUT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?! TO MEET WITH YOUR SECRET BOYFRIEND? OH NO NO, YOU CAN’T FOOL ME, YOU SLUT. I KNOW WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU GO OUT. JUST ADMIT YOU FOUND SOMEBODY NEW AGAIN.” Jeno’s dad’s voice pierced through the silence of the night, along with the sound of something breaking on the floor and a cry of a woman filling the air._

_So much for a peaceful night._

_Jeno debated opening the door to his room and see what his parents were up to. And even though he was small and weak, he was sure there was something he could do. Dad was beating up mom again. Jeno hated to see his mom get hurt. More than he hated not being able to join the singing lesson._

_Jeno heard the sound of someone slapping the other and he instantly knew it was his dad. He got down from his bed, put on his rabbit slippers and then slipped out of his room. He ran to the living room and saw his dad standing there, his mom crying on the floor. “Dad! Stop! Don’t hit mom! Don-“ Jeno couldn’t finish his sentence because his dad was staring at him with red eyes and a sickening smile. Jeno shrank in fear. “Oh look, slut. Your precious son is here. Ah yes, he’s your son. Not mine. I don’t believe he’s mine. You sleep with every living creature out there. This… this ugly kid can’t be my son.” At his little speech, Jeno felt offended. He wasn’t ugly. Everybody said he was cute, thank you very much. But before he could open his mouth, his dad picked up a metal rod from the floor and started walking towards him. Jeno stumbled to take a few footsteps back. But before his dad could hit him, his mom almost jumped on his dad, “Stop! He’s a kid! He’s YOUR son! He didn’t do anything! Let him go, please. Don’t hurt him!” at that, dad stopped and slowly turned to face mom, “You dared to touch me? To stop me?” his voice was deadly calm and suddenly Jeno realized, he needed to run, he needed to get out of there. And so he did. He ran like his life depended on it. Thankfully there was a closet nearby. He ran inside the closet and closed it tightly._

_He could still hear his parents fighting, screaming. Sounds of bones clashing against bones, his mom yelping in pain each time dad’s fist collided with her body. Then suddenly there was a gunshot. Then the sound of the front door slamming shut. Everything went quiet after that. Jeno waited for a few minutes before he opened the closet to peek at the living room, hoping for his mom to greet him with a smile like she usually did._

_And then Jeno screamed._

______________________________________________________

 

Jeno woke up with a start next morning. He had that nightmare, again. Well it wasn’t exactly a nightmare. It was a memory. A memory he wanted to erase, to get rid of. A past he was trying so hard to erase. But that was the thing about past. You had to live with it, memories buried deep inside your heart, pretending like it never happened even though the wounds would never heal.

Jeno shook his head. Past was in the past. Now it was the present that mattered. He still needed to find a new job and go grocery shopping. He ran out of vegetables. Instant ramen wasn’t healthy. Well, time to start his day with a cup of coffee and make a to-do list.

Jeno was walking through the aisles of the grocery shop and debating if he should buy a packet of chicken or not (they cost a lot, okay.) when he saw them. They seemed to be buying alcohol and a few packets of cigarettes.

Mark and Donghyuck.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Jeno turned around and ran for the counter. He paid for his vegetables and almost ran out of the store. But before he could turn the corner, a pair of strong hands yanked him into an alley. Jeno fell on his back on the road. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know who it was.

“Well well well. Look who we got here.” Mark’s voice reached Jeno’s ears and he shivered. A sense of fear clouded his sense and he prayed for a lightning to strike him, or the ground to open up and swallow him. As long as he didn’t have to face Mark, anything was fine. Jeno attempted to sit up, only to be pushed back again. “Hello, Mark. And Donghyuck.” He muttered. Mark snickered, “We’ve been looking for you for months. But you keep running away. When are you planning to pay us back? After we die?” And then he punched Jeno on the face. He could taste the blood in his mouth. Shit.

“Soon. I promise. I got kicked out of my job. I don’t have money. Please. Just give me a few days. I beg you.” Jeno whispered. Too tired to fight. Donghyuck took out a packet of cigarette and spoke without looking at Jeno’s direction, “We’ve been giving you ‘time’ for 2 months. You were supposed to pay us back within a month. Three months and we still don’t have our money, kid.” Jeno felt frustrated. He knew dealing with these kids who did drugs, beat up anyone they pleased, did lots of theft and robbery was a bad idea. But Jeno needed the money, for Taeyong’s sake.

Mark stared at Jeno for a while before standing up and straightening his clothes, “Fine, another month. You have until July to get your shit together. And if you fail, you either sell your soul to us or end up dead in a river. Whatever you prefer.” He sent one last kick at Jeno’s stomach before turning to face Donghyuck, “Let’s go, baby. We have places to be.” Donghyuck nodded and placed a kiss on Mark’s lips. And just like that, they were gone. Leaving Jeno behind in his pains and miseries.

“Holy shit, Jeno! What happened to your face?!” Renjun rushed to Jeno the moment he stepped into Wanderer’s Café in the evening for his shift. “Oh lord, you look like shit. Did you get run over by a truck or something?” Renjun asked as he caressed the part of Jeno’s face where Mark punched him. Jeno attempted to hide it with some makeup but it obviously didn’t work. Jeno winced in pain but leaned into his best friend’s touch anyway, “I met Mark and Hyuck this morning.” Renjun frowned before leading him to the stuff room at the back of the shop, “Just accept my offer and take my money, pay those fuckers back. You can pay me back later. But no, you’re a stubborn asshole who refuses to listen to me. Jesus Christ, look at what they’ve done to you.” Jeno shook his head, “I don’t want to borrow money from you and that’s final.” Renjun himself struggled with leading a decent life. He went to college, unlike Jeno, and had vocal lesson, dance lesson. His rent was also higher than Jeno. He needed the money and Jeno would never want to be a burden to the boy he’s been friends with since elementary school. He already owes him way too much.

“I forgot to tell you something. Taeil had a call from Johnny. His mother is very sick. Probably won’t last for long. So he flew to Canada early this morning. He tried calling you but you didn’t pick up the phone.” Jeno stopped making the cold Americano and looked at Renjun, shock and disbelief written all over his face. Taeil left? And he couldn’t even go to the airport to see him off, or tell him everything was going to be fine? Jeno swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, taking his attention back to the coffee in front him. He can’t be weak. Not in front of Renjun.

Later that night, Jeno found himself back to the abandoned park he visited the previous night. He sat on the swing and again looked up to the sky. His mind was filled with worries, pains and fears. He suddenly realized that there was nobody with him now. No one to listen to him, to hold him when he’s feeling down. And without Taeil there, soft but strong, the city of Los Angeles seemed to swallow him whole. It suddenly seemed too big for a guy like Jeno, too empty, too scary. Jeno had never seen life as as colorful as his classmates described. His world was filled with nothing but black and white colors. Completely void of happiness or any such emotion related to that word. And for a brief moment, Jeno imagined a world without him in it. Nobody would remember him, nobody would cry for him. The world would continue with its activities as it always did. The sun would rise like it always did. And the stars would continue shining, not knowing that the boy who loved staring at the night sky was no more.

“Hey.” A voice greeted Jeno, pulling him out of his thoughts. He turned to look at the source of the voice, only to find the boy from the night before sitting on the swing beside his. “Hey, Jaemin.” Jeno found himself smiling, He didn’t even know why. “Rough day?” Jaemin questioned. Jeno shrugged “Kind of. But I’ve been through worse. What brings you here again? Painting again?” “Nope. Just needed some fresh air. And a mysterious boy I met here yesterday may or may not have played a role. If you know what I mean.” Jaemin teased him. Jeno let his head fall back and laughed, “You’re really something, boy.”

Jaemin talked about his day. About his teachers and complained about his homework. Jeno listened in silence and nodded sometimes, adding some questions here and there. “So Jeno, tell me about yourself. Do you go to college?” Jaemin asked after a while. “I wish,” Jeno let out a bitter laugh, “I dropped out of high school. Had to make a living if I wanted to survive.” “Huh? Why? What about your parents?” “Mom died when I was 7. Dad disappeared. I didn’t have anywhere to go to…” “What about your relatives?” “They didn’t want a burden. I lived on the streets until a guy took me in. These streets are where I grew up. Streets are all I’ve even known. And this is my home. The gray asphalt and people looking at me with disgust.” Jeno didn’t look at Jaemin. He was sure Jaemin was going to hate him, or worse, pity him. They all did. Jeno wanted neither.

“It must’ve been hard. But hey, you’re still here. You didn’t give up, struggled and worked your way up. I think that’s something deserving of respect.” Jeno didn’t expect the reply he got from Jaemin. He looked at the boy in surprise. Jaemin grinned at him, “You have my respect, dude.” “Thank you.” Jeno whispered back. And if Jaemin noticed the wavering in Jeno’s voice, he didn’t question it.

Jaemin was right. Jeno had come so far. He could go farther and show everyone what he was capable of. Someday he’d be okay.

And with Jaemin beside him, the stars somehow shone a little brighter.


	3. Chapter 3

Jeno was working his shift at Wanderer's Café as usual. It had rained just while ago and so, the cafe was almost empty. Tired, exhausted and bored out of his mind, Jeno was playing Angry Birds on his phone, even though he sucked at it.

“You know, I've never seen somebody who's bad at Angry Birds.” Renjun commented, an amused smile playing on his face. “Shut up, you broccoli.” Jeno scrowled, “One day I'll beat the one with the highest score and show you what I’m capable of. Never underestimate me. I'm Lee Jeno.” “Yeah, you're Lee Jeno and you suck at everything.” Renjun replied dryly. “Hey, watch your dirty mouth. I'm pretty sure there's something I’m good at.” Their bickering would go on longer if Jaehyun didn’t step in, “That’s enough, you two. You guys are giving me a headache.” He gave them a stern look and Jeno mentally shivered. Jaehyun was scary when he was mad. “Anyway, Jeno. I have a request.” That got his attention, “Uh-huh? And what makes you think I’ll keep it?” “Because I’ll buy you bubble waffles if you keep it.” Jaehyun replied smugly and Jeno wanted to slap himself. He was a sucker for free food and that was why everyone he knew would always bribe him with food if they ever needed something. Come on, Jeno would sell his soul to the devil if he said there were delicious foods in hell.

“You got me there. Well, spill it then.” Jeno said with a sigh. Jaehyun grinned, “I have to go on a date with Doyoung. He wouldn’t stop sulking because we haven’t done anything together in ages, and by ages I mean in a week. So I need you to cover for me on Sunday. Afternoon shift.” “Why me? Why not Renjun?” Jeno complained. “Because I have classes. Unlike you, I’m not free all day.” Renjun shouted from the kitchen. “Stop insul-" Before Jeno could smack Renjun, Jaehyun stopped him, “So are you doing it?” “Yeah yeah. I will. Fine. Whatever you want.” “Great. I'll see you on Monday, then! Bye, guys.” Jaehyun beamed at Renjun & Jeno and just like that, he was gone. Jeno buried his face in his hands, “I hate everyone.”

By the time Sunday rolled around, Jeno was considering ditching the afternoon shift Jaehyun forced him to take over. He could say he had a bad cold, or his cat died, or he got ran over by a car. But he also knew the moment he said those words, Renjun was going to come over to check like he always did. And so, he forced himself to get up and get changed.

Jeno wasn’t sure if the whole universe hated him or if it was just him getting into trouble every time he breathed. It rained on his way to the cafe, leaving him soaked because he was stupid enough to ignore the weather report. He also accidentally stepped on a dog's tail and the next thing he knew, he was shouting and screaming and running for his life. Which got him some unwanted attention and he probably would've kept running if a policeman didn’t take mercy on him and shooed the dog away. Needless to say, Jeno looked like a madman who ran away from the hospital when he entered Wanderer's Cafe.

“This is the second time in a month that I’m seeing you looking like complete shit.” Yuta deadpanned while handing over Jeno a towel. “I got chased by a dog.” Jeno complained. “Wow, even dogs can smell the aura of stupidity you radiate.” Yuta dodged the towel Jeno threw at his direction, “I never understood why Taeil made us keep a pair of spare clothes, I mean uniforms, in the stuff room but now I understand. Go get changed. I don’t want the customers to get scared by a ghost.”

Jeno already decided that his day was going to get worse after that and he was proven right not even an hour later. An angry old woman threw her coffee on the floor because “the color is 0.67% darker than it should be.” A couple broke up while Jeno was serving them some muffins and it resulted the girl to yell, scream, grabbing her boyfriend by his collar and it took Jeno, Yuta and a regular customer named Lucas to pull them apart. Jeno was exhausted. He just wanted to go home.

He was weighing the pros and cons of leaving all the work on Yuta and risk getting fired even before Taeil closed the shop down, when the bell chimed. Announcing the arrival of another customer. Jeno sighed, straightened his clothes and put on the best fake smile he could master, “Hello and welcome to Wanderer's Cafe! What can I do to you?” but the moment he looked up, he stopped talking. Or rather, he forgot how to speak.

Before him, stood a boy slightly taller than him, with pink hair and fair skin. He had the most beautiful pair of eyes Jeno had ever seen. They were the most beautiful shade of brown in the whole world, looking so deep and mysterious. The boy wore a blue shirt, paired with ripped jeans, a black backpack resting on his shoulder. At that very moment, Jeno decided angels existed. Because a boy so beautiful couldn’t be from earth. He must be an alien.

“Alien? No no, I’m from earth. I assure you that.” The boy chuckled and Jeno realized with horror that he said it out loud. Embarrassed, Jeno was flushing bright red, and he hoped for the ground to open up and swallow him. “I'm sorry. It wasn’t meant to say out loud.” Jeno quickly apologized and the boy laughed. Jeno thought he had the most beautiful smile in the world, it could even outshine the sun itself. Oh lord, how could someone so beautiful exist? It should be illegal. This boy was making him feel weird things.

“Um.. m-may I have your o-order, sir?” Jeno cursed himself for shuttering. Jeno NEVER shuttered. He might be gay but he was a CONFIDENT gay, thank you very much (Renjun's voice was yelling at him for lying somewhere in the back of his mind but he was going to ignore it). “I'll have an espresso. Also maybe some chocolate cake?” “Sure, sir. What’s your name?” Jeno mentally patted his back for not shuttering this time. “Jaemin. Na Jaemin.” “Okay, sir... wait. Na Jaemin?!” Jeno dropped the pen. It couldn’t be... but it HAD to be. The Na Jaemin from the park also had pink hair. And now that he thought about it, the boy's voice DID feel kind of familiar. “Yeah, it’s Jaemin. Why do you look so shocked?” the boys asked in surprise. “Do you perhaps go to YGE University?” Jeno asked just to be sure. “How did you...” the boy began and then his eyes fell on Jeno's name tag, his eyes widened in surprise, “You're the kidnapper guy from the park?” Jaemin asked in disbelief. Jeno nodded, “That's me.” “Oh my god.” Jaemin exclaimed and Jeno laughed. He couldn’t believe he was talking to such a pretty boy for the past few weeks. Jeno always went to the park around midnight and Jaemin was there too. They talked but as it was always dark, they never saw each other properly. And now, under the bright lights of the cafe, Jaemin shone so bright and looked so happy that Jeno felt dizzy. He willed his heart to calm down. It wasn’t good for it to beat so fast.

“When does your shift end? Maybe we can talk!” Jaemin beamed at Jeno. There weren’t many customers at the shop so it should be okay if Jeno spent some time with Jaemin. “it ends at 9 but I have some spare time now. Go sit. I'll be there with your order.” “Alright. Come quickly, kidnapper boy.” Jeno smiled as he watched Jaemin almost hopping to a nearby table. 

Maybe the universe didn’t hate him after all.

That night, Jeno didn’t go to the park. Jaemin mentioned he was going to pull an all nighter and study for an upcoming exam. Jeno didn’t want to be there alone. It would feel too empty without Jaemin there. He had gotten too accustomed to Jaemin's presence. It was scary how quickly the pink haired boy made a place for himself in Jeno's life. It was scary how comfortable he felt with Jaemin, how he trusted him, how he looked forward to see him everyday. And now that he had finally SEEN Jaemin, he couldn’t get him out of his head. This wasn’t good because emotions never did anyone any good, trusting people meant giving them a gun and hoping they wouldn't shoot you and Jeno was aware of that. Jeno didn’t want to go through that. The pain, the heartbreak, the feeling of betrayal. All those tears shed, thinking what he did wrong. Not again. But he didn’t want to let go of Jaemin either. He feared that if he lost him, he was never going to find happiness again, the songs wouldn’t make sense anymore, the birds wouldn’t sing anymore. He was going to be pathetic, alone and sad. Just the thought of it terrified Jeno. He didn’t know why he was feeling so much for a boy he met only a few weeks ago. The universe was playing a joke on him. A cruel one.

It was funny how quickly a person became a part of your life and suddenly without them, the world felt dull and scary. They found their way deep into your heart and you didn’t want to let them go. Maybe you'd survive without them. But nothing would ever be the same. Not without the bright smile of that person.

Emotions were scary and dangerous. They made you FEEL things. They made you do things you never thought of ever doing. Too much of anything never did anybody any good. But maybe, just maybe, for this one time, Jeno was willing to take a risk. Maybe it was time he finally let somebody in. 

But that's enough emotion for about five years.

As Jeno's eyes closed, he faintly heard a voice whisper, “It'll be okay.” Before he drifted to a dreamless sleep.

Somewhere out in the city of New York, a boy with silver hair and piercings was talking to, or rather, arguing with someone over phone, “I don’t care. I'm going to meet him. Even if it means losing him forever, even if it means I can’t ever go see him again, I'm going to go. After everything that happened, he at least deserves an apology.” The other person on the line was quiet. When he finally spoke, his voice was harsh, “Do whatever you want, Taeyong.” And the line went dead.

Taeyong sighed and leaned on the wall for support. The cars were rushing past him without sparing him a single glance. Taeyong knew soon enough, he'd be just another person on the missing list. Soon enough, he'd be gone.

He looked at the sky and whispered, “I'm coming home, Jeno.”


	4. Chapter 4

It was another boring day for Jeno. Another one filled with loneliness, memories and staring at the wall, thinking how life would be different had he a normal childhood and teen years like everybody else of his age. He knew there was no point in thinking about what could've happened because in the end, they wouldn’t change a thing. But it sure felt nice when he imagined his mom kissing him good night, maybe a younger sibling, high school life with friends, maybe also a lover. It felt nice.

It was another normal Friday. Right now, Jeno was immersed in a book named The Da Vinci Code, his round glasses sitting on top of his nose. He loved reading books. Books took him to a whole different world. He imagined himself conquering the world, travelling to other countries, solving mysteries, saving humanity. It was fun.

He closed the book. Maybe he'd finish the rest later. He needed to get ready. He promised Jaemin he was going to meet the pink haired boy that evening and watch movies together. He giggled at the thought. A date with Jaemin... No! What was Jeno thinking? It was most definitely NOT a date. They'd just hang out together. Friends did that all the times. Jeno and Renjun went to the movies once in a while. Sometimes they'd hang out at each other’s place. This was no different either. Yeah, just things friends did.

Jeno found himself feeling a little disappointed at the thought. A part of him was hoping it was more than just a hang out. Maybe Jaemin saw him more than just a friend. Maybe.... okay, let’s stop right there. Jeno didn’t want to have false hope. He had way too much of that.

He was trying on his 7th outfit when there was a knock at the door. He groaned. Must be Renjun. He'd definitely ask Jeno why he was trying to look good and then tease him for months. Jeno loved Renjun. He really did. But sometimes he wanted to strangle him driven with frustration.

But when he opened the door, he felt like he was hit with a truck, a tsunami of emotions, confusion and happiness all at once. Before him stood a male with silver hair, blue shirt, jeans and 3 earrings decorating his left ear. Jeno breathed in sharply,

“Taeyong.”

_____________________________

15 minutes later, Taeyong was sitting on a chair in the kitchen while he watched Jeno struggling with cleaning up the mess with amused eyes, “Jeno, I told you, you needn’t clean everything up. I've seen this house in worse conditions than this.” “But you came home after 3 months! How can I let you see our house in such a messy state? I know you like keeping everything clean.” Jeno half yelled. Taeyong laughed, “It’s okay, really. Come sit here. We have so much to catch up with.” Jeno finally gave up and sat down on the chair beside Taeyong with a huff. After a few minutes of silence, Jeno began to speak, “So what brings you here after so long? Didn’t you say you weren’t going to come back from New York?” Taeyong hummed, “Can’t I come see my sweet lil brother? Can’t I come just because I missed him?” Jeno laughed, “Fair enough.”

And talk Jeno did. He poured his heart out to Taeyong. He complained about work, cried over Taeil leaving and whined about Yuta not letting him work peacefully. Taeyong listened with utmost interest, just like he always did. He'd nod sometimes and console Jeno, although mockingly. And then, came the most dreadful question. “So Mr. Lee,” Taeyong began with a playful smile, “have you found any cute boy? Who makes your heart flatter, butterflies flying in your stomach? Don’t lie, young man. I saw all those dresses on your bed. You're trying to look good for somebody, that’s for sure. Now spill.” Jeno went red with embarrassment while he stammered, “I, uh, yes, no, I mean yes. I met this guy at a park few weeks ago. He's my age. Goes to YGE University. He's so amazing and so beautiful. I swear God probably created him with his own hands. And when he smiles, it’s brighter than the sun. I don’t even know how to describe what I feel. Taeyong, I’m doomed.” Jeno buried his face in his palms and groaned. Taeyong was laughing his ass off as he pinched his cheeks, “Aww, our lil Jeno is in looooove!” “it’s not love! It’s not that deep. I like him a lot but maybe not enough to label this as love.” Taeyong hummed in understanding, “What’s his name?” “Na Jaemin.” Jeno replied cheerfully and suddenly Taeyong froze in his sit. Jeno continued without noticing, “and he has pink hair. I never thought I’d say this but he looks so good in it! How can someone look so handsome in pink? Is he an angel?” Taeyong remained frozen in his sit. He heard Jeno saying, “Oh you HAVE to meet him, Tae! He's coming over to pick me up in a few minutes!” “Ah no, Jen. I need to go back...” Taeyong tried avoiding. “No please! I promise you'll love him! Please, Tae.” Jeno was looking at Taeyong with sad puppy eyes and Taeyong knew he was fucked and probably going to die soon when he replied with a sigh, “Fine.”

17 minutes later, the doorbell rang and Jeno rushed to open the door. Taeyong remained on his sit, scared out of his mind while praying that it wasn’t the Na Jaemin with pink hair he knew. Let it be someone else, oh dear god.... “Jaemin, meet my brother, Taeyong! Remember when I told you somebody took me in when I was dying on the streets? Taeyong was the one who did it. I'm sure you'll love him.” Jeno was blabbering when he entered the living room with Jaemin in his toe. Taeyong looked up and sure enough, it was the boy he feared it was. Except this time, he wasn’t clad in all black, wasn’t pointing his gun at Taeyong's head. Instead he was wearing a white t-shirt with a red shirt over it, ripped jeans, his hair covering his forehead, a wrist watch on his left hand. Jaemin was staring at him, mouth hanging open like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Jeno blinked his eyes in confusion as the two male stared at each other, “Uh guys? You okay?” and both of them seemed to remember what situation they were in. Jaemin's expression relaxed as he looked at Jeno and smiled, “Yeah, everything's okay.” Taeyong watched in fascination. He noticed how Jaemin looked at Jeno, how he spoke to him, how he seemed like he had the whole world in front of him. At that moment, Taeyong decided, maybe Jaemin was more than meets the eyes. Maybe Taeyong could trust him on this.

Jeno left the duo in the living room and went to the kitchen to grab some food. Silence fell on them, none knowing what to say. Finally Taeyong broke the silence when it got too suffocating, “I didn't think I was going to see you here, Na.” “Me neither. Who would've thought that the guy I ended up falling for would turn out to be YOUR brother of all people.” Jaemin had a frown on his face, “Last time you and I met in the warehouse, I had a gun pointed at you and you told me you couldn’t give a flying fuck whether you were alive or dead. And now you're here.” Taeyong let out a chuckle, “Small world, isn’t it?” but then he frowned, “wait. Did you just say 'fall'? You ACTUALLY like Jeno?” Jaemin flashed at that, “y-yeah, I guess. I really do like him. He's an amazing guy.” Taeyong turned to face Jaemin, an unreadable expression on his face, “Then promise me. Even though we try to kill each other whenever we meet, for Jeno's sake, please promise me you'll take care of him. Because I might not be able to do that soon enough.” Jaemin stared at him, kind of shocked. But when he opened his mouth, he spoke every word with determination, “I promise. Whatever there is between you and me, no matter the past, Jeno will always be my first priority.” Taeyong found himself smiling, “Good.”

That night, the three of them watched Transformers together, laughing and smiling. Taeyong and Jaemin forgot about their past for a while and teased each other. And when Jaemin went home, he thought that maybe Taeyong wasn’t that bad. Although he'd never admit it out loud.

Taeyong sat on the edge of the bed and watching Jeno's sleeping face. So peaceful, like he was the happiest person on earth. Taeyong remembered the time he took Jeno in almost ten years ago. Jeno was so small, fragile and scared of the world. He was wary of Taeyong at first. It took months for Taeyong to break down his walls, to earn his trust. He grew up so well, so matured, strong and wise. Taeyong felt warmth in his heart. Jeno's a strong boy. He'd be okay. Even when Taeyong was gone, never to be back again, he would be okay.

_____________________________

_Taeyong was sitting on the gray asphalt of a dark alley, his hand clutching on the bottle of whiskey. The smell of smoke, sweat and ammonia heavy on the air. He heard the sound of footsteps, hurrying on his direction. He didn’t have to look up to know who they were, “Lucas.” Lucas stepped out from under the shadows. Under the flickering light, he looked even scarier than usual. A black dragon tattoo covering half of his face. Lucas was the leader of one of the gangs in that part of the city. But his gang worked under a big organization named Dragon Court. They dealt with drugs, human trafficking and many more. He was the one who supplied Taeyong the drugs. Then Taeyong would sell those to others. “Taeyong, we had a deal. You're supposed to give me back my $500 today. I know that you got hijacked while on your way to give us the money of selling the drugs. But OUR boss wouldn’t care. He demands the money as soon as possible. All of us will be dead if you can’t manage it by tomorrow evening.” Taeyong sighed, “I'm trying, Lucas. But I’m still $300 short. Just please give me a few more days.” Suddenly Lucas was in front of him, grabbing him by his collar, “No. Tomorrow evening, Taeyong. That’s your deadline.” Before Taeyong knew it, he felt a fist colliding with his face. Then another, a few more in his stomach. He fell on the ground, groaning with pain. Lucas started down at him with a blank face, “This is a reminder. If you fail to hand us over the money, boss told me to get rid of you.” Taeyong watched Lucas walking away, his vision blurring before everything went black._

_Jeno found him around midnight. He took Taeyong home, cleaned him up, cried and kept asking him what happened. Taeyong couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t tell Jeno that he was involved in a gang which sold drugs, sometimes killed people. Dragon Court was a nightmare. The less Jeno knew, the better. He only told Jeno about his debt. In the morning Jeno handed him over $300 and told him to pay his “co-worker" back. Taeyong refused because who knew where Jeno got it from. But Jeno kept insisting and Taeyong had no choice._

_A few days later, Taeyong's boss, Suho, called. He said he was impressed with his work and wanted him to move to New York, their headquarter. Taeyong told Jeno he managed to get a better job and was moving to NY. He'd never forget the sound of Jeno sobbing while Taeyong's taxi drove away, leaving the 19 years old alone..._

And maybe it was for the better. Jeno would live a better life, a happy life. Someone like Taeyong would only hinder him from it.

Because Taeyong promised himself he'd protect Jeno with his life.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic i've ever written. so I'm pretty nervous about it. and English isn't my first language so please forgive any mistake. thank you for reading and please leave a kudos if you liked it! thank you again!


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